Chronological Order
by Galaxy The Element Girl
Summary: What if Matt was a girl? What if Matt, Mello and Near were all in the same school? What would happen if the three of them fall in love, with fatal results... AU MattxMelloXnear
1. PrologueEnding

Chronological Order

I lay here, covered in blood. In the middle of the road, no less. My goggles lay beside me, dirty and broken. No one bothers to come and check what happened, this is a quiet street. My wig was off, so all my red hair was sprawled beneath me. My eyes probably look empty and lifeless by now. Blood trickles from my mouth. I doubt anyone will care that I died. After all, he left.

The blond chocolate-addict was gone. My best friend, my only friend, my roommate, my partner, and most importantly, the one I loved. Of course, he never knew. It would have ruined our friendship. I wish I'd been more selfish back then, and maybe I wouldn't be dying.

Tears fall from my eyes, combining with the blood. He had to leave in bad terms. This is all my fault. I had everything I wanted just within my grasp, but I was too afraid to make the jump, afraid to fall. Now I know it would have been worth it.

My last breaths are coming. My chest feels great pain, and I force my eyes open. To keep seeing the sun. Oh, how I loved the sun. It reminded me of him.

Of my dear Mello. And so, I take my last breath and become lifeless. I die, without anyone to care. I, Mail Jeeves, have died without her Mello. Her sweet Mihael Keehl.

AN- Is it good? Bad? Love it, hate it? All flames will be used to cook a cake.


	2. New Student

Chronological Order Chapter 2- New Student

[[Matt's POV]]

A ray of light hits my eyes. Groaning, I wake up. Stretching my arms, I yawn. "Ahh New day, huh. I've got to hurry, though. I'm going to be late." I said to myself. My wig had fallen off, too, so my red auburn hair was all tangled. My hair reached to my waist, making it a pain in the ass to cover up. I refused to cut it, though. Mum had said that my hair was beautiful, so when she died, I let it grow out. I reluctantly put on my brown/green wig to my head.

I stood up and went to my bathroom, searching for the bandages. I had cleavage, so that too was hard to hide. I took off my pajamas and changed the bandages on my chest. I had no idea why I had to dress like a boy, since Aunt never told me. I know it must be something important, so I kept on doing it without question. It's a bit fun to dress like a boy.

I pull out my striped shirt and my unique pair of pants and put them on. I don't look too girly, but not manly either. I looked good in the outfit, though. I put on my vest and voila! I was Matt, not Mail. Who would name their child Mail I would never know. My eyes were the only thing that gave me away. They were far too girly and soft, with a structure that feminized me. My eyes were a beautiful dark green which I dare say sparkled. I adored them, but I must cover them up.

I quickly put on my goggles, which were orange. I always liked these goggles so much that I always had them near me. I grab my PSP, my DS and my Gameboy. I hide my cigarettes in my vest, since no school would let a kid smoke. It was necessary for me, I guess. I was a chain smoker.

I don't even eat. I grab some cash, and head out. I was going to a school called Wammy's. Interesting name. My backpack is hanging on one of my shoulders, and I know that I'm going to be late. I run very fast till I'm in front of the school, panting.

"I'm finally here.." I gasp at the time. LATE! I got my papers done already, so I just need to go to my class. I open the door, to find a young teacher speaking a lecture on History, something about War. He looks up from his book, all the other children's' gaze going up to me, too. "Ah, Matt, good to have you here. You're lae on your first tsk." He said. Then he turned to the class.

"Kids, we have a new student today. Matt, come in please." The brown-haired teacher said.. I came in, looking bored. I whip out my PSP, and start playing a random game."Introduce yourself, Matt."

I don't ever bother to look up, but I can feel everyone's eyes on me. I sigh silently, and proceed. Might as well get this over with. "My name's Matt, I'm 14 and I like video games." I said shortly. That was enough info for them right now.

The class was eerily silent after I finished. I look up briefly to observe everyone. Some are creepy, others are just plain boring. Only two caught my eye: some blond chick in leather and a weird little albino dressed in white pajamas.

Finally, the teacher sighed. "Well, my name is Light Yagami. You'll sit beside Mello. Mello, please raise your hand." He said. The blond chick, Mello as I learned, raised her hand. I go over to the seat, and I notice that Mello is not a girl. Mello is too rough to be a girl, his facial features. Mello's a boy.

I sit down next to him, and observe him briefly, before turning to pay attention to Mr. Yagami's class. This is going to be an interesting year.

AN_ Second chapter!! Yay. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I['ll be forever grateful. In ruined the whole fic with the beginning, didn't I?


	3. Shock and Insults

AN- Okay, well, here I am after such a long time!! Sorry that I've disappeared off the face of the world, but with school starting up again I had to get my stuff together. Unless you go to the SP, well, I'm afraid you won't understand the pressure that's put on all of us. Well, just to give you a heads up, EVERLASTING, one of my first fics, is on hiatus. For how long? Depends when I get my muse back. Oh yeah, since you're never going to hear this in any other chapters

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note in any way, shape or form. If I did, Mello and Matt ould be still alive, as well as L, and BB and A would have appeared in the anime and there would be lots of yaoi going on in there.

Chapter 3-Painful Discovery

Sighing, I turn off my Nintendo DS. I was playing Tetris, but I got bored of it very quickly. I sat up from my bench and took a walk outside of Wammy's. It was lunch time, and everyone was either in the cafeteria or outside, playing football. I did neither one of those things, because frankly, I feel sick to the point of puking after I discovered a little piece of information that I acquired w hile earlier in English class.

Since I don't wan't to specifically remember what happened. It was not a scene for the weakhearted anyway. Let's just say it involved some questions on my part, and Mello getting pissed off. In the end, we both got a week's worth of detention. Great, I come here in hopes of starting my life over, and I get frickin detention the moment I ask him something. Well, the 'thing' I asked him about was the Succesor program. The Succesor Program had been established by , though it was not about him at all. L, as they called him, had been one of the greatest inventors in the world, which of course earned him a ton of money. He was a multi-billionaire, in all truth. But as Wammy decided, he needed a succesor. And I just found out that that creepy albino, called Near -who in their right mind would call their kid NEAR?- is the number one candidate to becoming the next L. Mello is appearantly second, and some kid in the class was third. He was insignificant, so I didn't even bother to learn his name.

Well,honestly, the whole program is bull****! Causing rivalries over something so trivial was so stupid and pointless, well at least to me. I have no interest in becoming the next L. I mean, whatever, who cares about a creepy old inventor who probably only wants to lure children into his huge mansion and rape them? Not me, though it was clear by now that everyone, EVERRYONE, saw L as the ultimate idol in their eyes. Even Mello does! Well, not everyone. Both me and Near hate L. I hate him because of what he does to us, and I've no idea why Near hates L. I just see it in his eyes. I'm a bit of an expert in identifying emotions, picking them up from people's eyes. Though Near has a mask of indifference glued on to his face for eternity, I can easily get past that mask and see all the different emotions running deep inside him. And everytime someone spoke L's name outloud, I could see two clear emotions, drowning every other one. Jealousy and Hatred. Why did he hate L? I would never know. The only clue I had was that Near looked at Mello once after he mentioned L, giving him the upmost showed hatred for most of the time, but then, for a fraction of a second, he showed one of the emotions I would have never expected him to every feel: sadness. No, it wasn't even sadness, it was depression at it's most extreme form it could possibly take.

Of course, that little piece of emotion dissapeared after he turned back to his toys. Transformers and Legos filled his whole desk, while mine was filled with video games, and suprisingly, Mello's was filled with chocolate and textbooks. I never saw him as the studying type, either. Well, I suppose since Near has the upperhand, he would try and suprass Near in every way possible. I pitty him, actually. He works too hard and Near doesn't even lift a finger. I suppose he is very smart. But, now, I wish that Mello would give up. He's wasting away with all that hard work! I've got to stop him one of these days, when I'm closer to him.

I suddenly get an idea as I lean against a tree. Maybe, just maybe, if I got closer to him, I could convince him to give up trying to be L! Yes, I would do exactly that. I smile to myself, though I know I shouldn't. My smile is very feminine compared to every single girl. It's sweet and could charm any guy, even girls, into doing what I want. But I never use it with that purpose in mind, because 1) I'm not as low as to do that and 2) That would give away the fact that I am a girl. And I do not want anyone to find out, simply because one of the reasons is that Aunt's boyfriend would beat me up more than usual. I do't want to think about that in this moment, this moment when I'm practically going to squeal. So I cover my mouth and sqeal as little as possible. The mere thought of me and Mello being friends made me giddy. He was very handsome, too. We would both benefit out of this plan I have thought about!

Then realization dawns upon me. How am I supposed to make friends with Mello? Mello, the intimidator? Mello, the bully? Mello, the bastard?Mello, the one that hit me and gave me bruises to add upon the others I have recieved from my Aunt's boyfriend? Mello, Mello, Mello... why can't I get him out of my head? Sighing, I take out a cigarette and lit it. One of the best things about living in England is that there are lots of trees and forests to get lost in. I took as drag, and breathe in the delicious flavour of the smoke coming out of my mouth.

"That stuff will kill you, you know?" a voice is heard all of the sudden. Who could have possibly looked around for me, the new kid? The antisocial kid who wanted to be alone and play his-her games. I hear the sound of chocolate being snapped and I know who it is. The one person who invaded my thoughts. Though I am very glad for him to come for me, why did he even begin to think that I would be here, in the mini-forest thing that Wammy has in the outskirts of the school?

"I know. Why do you care if I smoke or not? Unless you're secretly the teacher's pet." I say. I'm very annoyed at him. Why the hell would Mello, of all people, care about Matt, the freaky new student? I take another drag but this time, I let the smoke onto his face. I know, I'm a b with an itch. I can't exactly call myself a bastard, since I'm a girl. A girl with gender issues. A crossdresser.

He coughs, obviously he's never touched a smoke once in his life. "I don't care about you, I care about my health. And my hiding spot, too. If you infistate it with your smoke, where else will I go to when I need some peace and quiet?" he said with a snarl, snapping another piece of chocolate. I resist calling him a chocaholic, since he would probably beat me up, so instead I say it subletly.

"And? You're going to die of diabetes if you keep on eating so much chocolate." I retort back. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, this thing about becoming friends with him. If we were just going to fight all the time, why would I force myself to be friends with him? He's just as important as the next person: I care nothing about him. All that, however, goes away when he laughs. I find myself dazed when I hear his laugh. It was beautiful, like bells. It should be an insult to any man, but with him, it's appropiate.

"Ok, you win. If I don't insult your smokes you won't insult my chocolate. Deal?" he says, amusement clear in his voice. When I reach out to take his hand, time stopped for me. And that was very useful, as I took in his appearance. It was breathtaking. He was the most perfect thing I had ever laid my eyes upon. He had shoulder length blonde hair; and it wasn;t just one shade, there were ten different shades of blonde hair mixed in, which glistened when the sun hit it just right. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue, they were very deep, as if they were the color of the ocean. And his body, don't even get me started. Too late. His figure was feminine but yet still fitting for had a bit of muscles, which weren't gross as they were on some of the other boys. And the worst of it all? He was wearing leather, which clung on to all his body, as if were his second skin. He had a leather vest, which somehow ended at the hemline of his leather pants, though it opened just a bit so you could see his naval. And his pants? Well, I won't describe them too much. They clung on tightly to his um, manhood. And from what I could see, he didn't wear underwear under that. He had leather boots on, huge ones too. The one thing that completed his look was one of the most innocent and honest, which was ironic. A rosary held its place on Mello's chest. It was dark brown in color, and it's chain was too, but the crucifix itself was the central point of it. It had esmeralds, rubies and diamonds decorating it.

Overall? He was drop-dead-sexy. I might have drooled if not for the fact that I was a bit annoyed with him. Who was he to criticize my smokes when he himself was working towards a slow and painful death where in he goes fat? At least smokes aren't that bad to you. They kill you very quickly, so you don't have to worry about the pain too much. Still I shake his hand, and take another drag. It might be fun to try and be his friend after all. Maybe he'd turn out to be an amazing guy who's worthy of myself. Yes, he just might be a friend. Huh, a friend. Something I haven't had in such a long time. After I finished my smoke, I dropped it on the ground and stepped on it with the heel of my sneakers. I smirk boyishly at Mello. "Deal." I say after there was a long silence.


	4. Broken Goggles

After that last scene, Mello and I grew inseperable. He got my back, and I got his. Well, at least in school, because I was still getting beaten up by Aunt's boyfriend again. He always punched me as a welcome back gift in my torso. You know how it feels when you run into a tree, hit your chest, and how it takes the breath out of you? Well, that's how it feels like when he punched me. And as the time passed, it only grew worse. And what is the worst of all of the things? That the beatings would never stop. Not now, after he and Aunt decided to get married. It had been the worst day of my life to find out that the man who abused me was going to stay in my life forever.

I waved goodbye to Mello, as I continued to walk away from him. School was over for the day, and Mello couldn't hang out because he had studying to do. My heart sank at that. I didn't want to go back to that abusive man. I didn't even want to remember his name in fear that he would appear before me,though I knew that it was virtually impossible. I was in the nice side of town, buying clothes and groceries for us. Even if I did hate the Succesor's program and L, I have to admit, it is convinient for us. At least, the ones in the top 20 have more privilages than anyone in the entire school. Even more than the teachers, too. Wammy's gave us some type of an.. what's the proper word to call it.. an allowance. It went like this: anyone below the top 20 would only get 10 dollars per below top 50 would get 5 dollars. But, those in the top twenty would get 50 dollars per month,and those in the top 5 would get a 100 dollars per month.

So, this is why so many people enter the program, even if they hate can be so despicable sometimes, don't you think? Well, at least we still get the money. And money equals more food, clothes and most importantly, games. And more chocolate for Mello, too. There was a mystery with him these days. One day, more chocolate started appearing on top of his pile. And it only grew even more bigger day after day. Not that Mello complained, though. If someone wanted to give him free chocolate for nothing in return, then let them. It wasn't a bad thing for him, though it somehow made Matt beam with happiness every time he consumed one of his chocolate bars. When Mello asked him what was up with him,Matt just brushed it off, and went back to his video games.

If only he knew how much time and effort Matty spent looking for that one brand of chocolate that he wanted. She could spend hours looking for it, as Matt ignored her own work and put all her spare time into buying him chocolate. He was her only friend, after all, and she wanted to make him happy. He could throw her in the dirt while he spat at her, and she wouldn't mind one bit. Not a single piece of her sould would ever hate him, even if he said he despised her. This was something that never failed to cross her mind.

I stopped thinking as I bumped into a pole. "Oww..." I rub my forehead. It hurt, but not enough to get me to cry. I look around, and see a store in front of me that I'd like to go in. The only problem?That store is for girls. Well, technically, I'm a girl, but I'm not so certified as to go in a store like that. Suddenly, I get an idea and go to a clothes shop for men and got a bag with only one pair of normal jeans in , I go in an alley which I was sure that no one would occupy and take off my vest. I put the furry vest in the bag and take out the jeans. These jeans are not like mine, in fact, I hate this type of jeans but they'd do for now. I take off my own and replace them with the other pair. Though my stipped shirt would not be classified as too girly, well, who cares? The only thing I'm worried about is some girl actually recognizing me from school.

I take the final steps into turning into a girl for now. I remove my goggles and place them at my neck. Hey, even if I'm going to be a girl for a couple of minutes I won't take off my goggles. They're important to me, even if they're worn out already.; My forest green eyes looked around, taking in all the colors that I previously didn't see. It had been a long time since I took off my goggles, too, so this was exciting for me. But not as exciting it is now that I'm taking off my dark olive/brown wig, and my red auburn hair falls into place. My hair was messy, and it was a bit long, but I didn't mind. It felt good to be able to actually act like a girl again. It was easier, because I honestly didn't know how to act like a proper boy.

Walking out of the alley, I turn to the direction of the girl store that I had seen earlier, but in the way, I stopped. I hadn't seen this candy store earlier, but now it stuck out like a sore thumb. I looked at the store that I wanted to go, and then at the candy store. I repeated this process for several minutes, my head in an internal debate over which store should I go to.

I_f I go to the candy store, Mello will be happy._

_But if you do give chocolate to Mello, he'll never know it was you! Why waste money on chocolate if you could easily buy more games and clothes? Go to the clothes shop!_

_But I don't care if he doesn't know it was me... he'll still be happy!_

_Sure, you're fine with him not knowing, but he never even appreciates it._

_..._

_See? I won. Now go over to the clothes shop and forget about Mello._

_No. _

_What did you say?_

_I'm going over to the candy store. I don't care if he doesn't appreciate it, or thank me but Mello is still happy. _

_*sigh* Do whatever you want. _

I could never forget about Mello. Not my first friend, no scratch that, best friend. That was the reason I was walking towards the candy shop right now, forgetting all about the other store that stood in the other side of the street. I wanted to see him eat the chocolate that I bought him. That's the only time that I can see him happy. Others would miss that emotion in his face, even if they stood one inch away from him. But not me, I always caught onto his emotions much faster than even Mello himself. And every time he takes a bite of those chocolate bars, I can see his mouth curving up only a fraction of a millimeter. That little smile is worth spending my money in.

Entering the candy shop, I instantly smell all the wonderful treats in there. Lollipops, hard candies, gum, and the one thing I came in looking for: chocolate. I walk up to the section that held all the chocolate brands in the town. And the section was pretty big. I took about ten minutes to search the whole section of chocolate, and I was about to give up, when I finally saw the brand Mello always ate. Sighing, I reach for the last three bars available, when another hand also grabbed the same chocolate bar at the same time as I did, well, probably a fraction of a second later than me.

"Excuse me?" I say sharply at the stranger who wanted to take away my bars of chocolate. Well, technically, they were going to be Mello's in about 13 hours, when I went to school a tad earlier than Mello to let the bars in his seat.

"Let go of the bars." the stranger said. My back was turned to that stranger, but I knew his voice. Slowly, I turned around to meet one of the most beautiful shades of azure eyes, staring right into my forest green eyes. I take in his face, and the most stunning blonde hair that anyone could possibly imagine. His face was cruel, yet I knew better than to believe that mask he had up most of the time. I don't even need to look down to see his entire leather outfit he always had on, though I could see his rosary that hung frun his neck. Mello.

"Why should I?" I ask, my voice clearly softening. Why did I always do that around him? It's as if I liked the guy! And.. I most certainly did not. I'm a hundred percent sure of that! Well, fifty percent, no, maybe a lot less..whatever the point is, I'm not letting the bars go.

"They're mine.." he snarled at me. I was a tad hurt, but then I remembered that I was not Matt at the moment. I was Mail, an unknown girl with auburn hair and forest green eyes. I was not Matt, the fun-loving gamer that always had his goggles on his eyes. I froze up when I remembered the goggles that lay on my neck. What if he recognized them?

"No. Technically, I grabbed them first." I snatched them away from his hand and ran over to the cashier to quickly pay in cash. I let her keep the change, and so I I quickly walked away from the store. Of course, I didn't know that Mello was following right behind me, with a scowl on his face.

"Give those chocolates to me NOW." he yelled to me, though he didn't necessarily need to becase he was only a meter behind me, and he was gaining house was only a couple of blocks away, so I walked-well actually I ran. Mello gained up to me and tried to grab my collar to stop me, but instead ended up grabbing the string of my worn out goggles.

The next thing happened in a blur. Mello managed to break the string on the goggles, and he wasn't expecting that. He, in turn, almost fell on the floor but maintained his balance, though the goggles now lay in the middle of the street. Cars were already in a line, and I was fortunate that the light was in red, but as I was going to grab my father's goggles, the light turned green. I looked directly into the headlights of a car. Strong arms yanked me to the sidewalk by my shoulders. I was saved,, but my father's goggles were broken and shattered on the street.

I drop down to my knees. Those goggles were the only thing left I had of my real parents. The ones who had loved me and took care of me, not like Aunt and her boyfriend. And their only memoir was shatt, in the middle of the street. I stared at them blankly, not noticing the tears that ran down my face.

Mello stood there, not knowing what to do with a crying female. For a genius, he was pretty clueless of human behaviors. Or rather, female's. The goggles were obviously the thing that had made her cry, and suddenly, he found a solution. He picked her up and mad her stand. He didn't say a word as he grabbed this stranger's hand and led her towards another store. Entering the store, Mello looked around at all the different types of accessories. He finally found what he was looking for and so he grabbed it and payed for it.

Meanwhile, I was still in a daze. My father's goggles were broken. That is enough reason to cry over, as I was doing so, but realization struck me even harder. What was I going to cover my eyes over with? I was too busy being paranoid to notice Mello putting something around my neck until he put one of his hands on my shoulder to attempt to calm me down. I snapped back to reality, and looked down to see what he had put over my neck. I gasped a bit in my mind. There, in my neck, laid new goggles. Green goggles with orange-tinted glass in them.

"Sorry about the other goggles." he simply said. I looked at him, my eyes widening a bit, but I did something I had wanted to do for quite some time. I put my arms around him and gave him a hug. He immediately stiffened up, and only relaxed as I let him go.

"Thank you,...." I said, pretending not to know his name. Though I did, I knew who Mello was, including all he does.

"Mello." he said, not giving his last name.I didn't expect him to, though. No one in Wammy's was stupid enough to give out last names, let alone their real names. As I was about to respond, the bell tower rang. I looked up to find that it was already 6 o'clock. I panicked inside. I was going to get beaten up a lot worse because I was an hour late.

I ran towards the door."Thank you Mello!" I yell out as I'm opening the door. He follows and tries to get my attention. "You're welcome.." he said, really not knowing my name.

As I take a step outside, I turn to face him one last time. "Mail." I don't know why, but I just gave my real name. I give a small smile, and walk out the door and head out to the sidewalk, preparing myself for another night of misery.

But, later that night, even as I lay in my bed, cuts adorning my arms and legs, I don't feel the pain. I just feel... Mello.

END CHAPTER 4-

AN- How was that? I'm writing a lot longer now, don't you think? Well, hate it, love it? REVIEW OR I PROMISE I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN!!


	5. Wouldn't Ever Know

AN- Sorry that I dissapeared off the face of the Earth!! School caught up to me, and exams were the death of me for two months... but I'm back now! I already have the next three chappies planned out so you don't need to fret. I promise I'll be updating more often now!! And now, of to Chapter....(?) of Chronological Order! WARNING- Rape, abuse, and language are the main feature in this chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Oi, Matt!" Mello comes up to me one day. I pause the game that I was playing and look up to the chocolate-addict standing before me. I smile inwardly and thank whoever's up there that this guy is my friend. Mello is not wearing his usual outfit, instead choosing a black sweatshirt and sweat pants. I was not used to seeing him dressed like that, but if it fits the shoe...

"Yes, Mells?" I say to him, taking out another smoke from my pack hidden in my pocket. I take a drag, and was torn between being giddy or remorseful when his face scrunches up. And he looked adorable doing that. I froze. Wait, did I just think of Mello as being...adorable?

"Hello, Earth to Matt!" Mello waves a hand over my face and I snap back to reality.

"Finally! I thought you were hypnotized or something. Well, as I was saying, we need to work on that project. Want to come over to my house?" Mello says as he bit his chocolate bar which had appeared from no where. I smiled and nodded again. It was a risk, though, because I could get hit tonight when I came back home. It was a risk I was willing to take.

A smack could be heard echoing throughout the room. My hand reaches up to touch my cheek, where a purple bruise was sure to form later. I looked up to my step-father's hand, still in the air. Yes, you heard right. My aunt got married to this bastard a few days ago in Las Vegas, and I learned his name. Or at least, I had. It was Alessandro or something like that...for now I'll just call him A. Scum like that guy don't deserve to have names.

"Where were you?" he says after a few minutes of silence. I didn't answer him. Who had given him the right to boss me around? Oh. My Aunt did. Sometimes, I swear that woman could be as dense as a rock. She didn't ever notice the bruises I got from this scum standing before me.

He throws me to a chair. I winced slightly, but did not do much after that. His eyes were full of disgust and hatred towards me. "I said, where were you!" he raises his voice. This time, I do answer him vaguely.

"At a friend's house." I simply say to him. I would not sell Mello out. If I did, I was sure A would go hunt him and do the same treatment as he did to me all because A had told me not to get attached to anyone. I had been determinated to follow this order, but guess what? My resolve crumbled the minute that I met Mello. And for that reason alone, I would be forever loyal to Mello. Even if it cost me my life. And I meant it, especially since, one day, I was sure that A would kill me when he was drunk, maybe even while he was sober, who knows. I don't, that's for sure.

"Who was it?" A says to me. I turn my head and don't answer him. Bad move.

He pulls my hair, which was really my wig, but still caught some of my real hair, which hurt like a bitch. I hate him, I wish he would just go crawl into a hole and die slowly and painfully for the shit he was making me feel. Pain. I hated pain, and I always would. People say that pain was a way out for them, to counter emotional pain and stress, but I disagree. Pain is just another way to suffer in life, unnecessary unless you're trying to commit suicide; and if you are, then by all means, go right ahead and make my day! Enjoy the last seconds of your life in pain. Then, in the afterlife, get ready to make a little home in the Seventh Circle of Hell. I'm sure that Minos would just love to see you at the gate!(1)

"Who were you with, you little slut? Probably whoring yourself again to gain some money. Perhaps to the blond fag that you seem to stalk?" he said icily. That was the last straw. I could take anything he threw at me, but I was not going to sit here like a good puppy and let this bastard insult Mello like that. If anyone was the fag here, it was most certainly A!

I mumble something angrily. A stops himself as he was nearing me with a kitchen knife in his hands, playing with it as one hand forced me to look at his eyes by grabbing my hair and yanking it. I think I let out a small yelp, and that seemed to make him hunger for more as he traced the knife over my left arm, blood springing from the graze. "What did you say?" he asked, too calmly to be considered calm at all. He was planning something, and I could almost hear his sick thoughts in my own mind. I almost shruddered, but kept myself at bay.

The seconds ticked by like hours in the silence that surrounded us and swallowed us whole before I had the courage to step into the light. "Go fuck yourself, you fucker!" I spit at him, to add more effect. I had never before taken such courage to stand up against this monster in front of me. And I was glad that I did, even if only for a moment, because it had been for Mello. Mello, you better appreciate this. I'm giving up my sanity to make sure you stay clear of this man's path. I'm giving up so much more than that...and I wish that I didn't care for you as much as I did.

That also seemed to be the last straw for A, because he suddenly stabbed me in the arm. I let out a cry, and forced myself to hold back the tears that were threatning to fall down. It hurt so god damn much... Mello... please...

A continued to stab me in the thighs, and only a really shallow stab in the stomach. I coughed up some blood, and the only thing I got from him was him throwing me onto the bloodied couch. He stood over me, unbuckling his belt. I felt myself pale as I realized what he was going to do to me. Rape. He was going to rape me. I found myself in a frenzied panic; sure, he was always cruel and abusive, but he had never taken it to this level. Not once had he touched me innapropiately! Oh my god...please, help me!

The next hour was torture for me. It went by in a blurr. I only remember pieces of the abuse that had taken place as I curled up into a fetal position in my bed after I had gotten enough strength to actually attempt to get up:

A stripping me of my clothes. A slapping me. A shoving his cock into my mouth, making me gag. Him cumming, me thinking it was over. A turning me on my stomach, and lowering my pants. A thrusting into me harshly as I screamed. A zipping his pants up after he released inside me.

And most importantly... feeling myself breake. Feeling my sanity waste away bit by bit. What's worst of this all? Mello. This whole ordeal was because of him, and he would never even care because he wouldn't know about it.

'..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
AN- Was that bad, was it ok, was it, dare I say it, good? Poor Matty! I made her suffer in this chapter. And as she says, Mello won't know about it! Okay, I think that was just plain cruel. I love making my characters suffer! Oh, and the reason that I did this chapter? Because someone put me in their favorites. That was the final shove I needed to finish this chapter.


End file.
